When looking into a mirror, we see a reflection of ourselves. But that reflection can so easily be warped and broken depending on the quality of the mirror itself. Looking into a broken mirror, the image reflected back at you is most certainly not a true reflection of what things really look like. The image reflected back by a plastic mirror does not reflect the same clear and true image as a good quality glass mirror does either, right? Yet so often, we turn to mirrors in life that reflect back to us an image of ourselves that is warped, superficial, plastic and broken. One of the most dangerous broken and plastic mirrors that so many turn to these days seeking their worth and validation from, begging for it to “reflect” back to us that we are good enough, valued, beautiful and worthy, is social media. We live in a time where social media “likes” and “comments” are even what Facebook itself tracks to measures whether an image or a post is “good enough” and “valuable enough” to show and share with more people on the platform or not. So many turn to the virtual world as a mirror to validate us, confirm that we are worthy, good enough, beautiful, accepted & loved. The scary part is for so many, it has become the only mirror they ever turn to, and it is not real. We are so dependent on our virtual “friends” and followers reflecting back to us that we are amazing, by way of likes and comments, that we fail to notice and recognize the genuine and amazing people that we have in our lives who are actual and real, and who truly know us and love us for exactly who and what we are. Facebook and Instagram are mere glimpses into the lives of people whom we don’t and may never know in person. That perfectly beautiful image of themselves that was posted, was taken on their best moment of their day, 40 times before they got the perfect shot and lighting, and was edited or filtered several times. Yet the likes they receive from total strangers on that image is what they use to measure their worth or to validate them. That in itself shows the warped image that we have of ourselves and our value and worth does it not? We put up family photos with captions like “I love my family”, when reality is that nobody in the photo can stand each other and they see each other once a year because they have to, for grandma’s birthday. Most of us share our best sides, their best days and best moments on social media. Why is it that we don’t share our deepest darkest secrets, fears, hopes and dreams?  Could it be because deep down we know that they are superficial, not real and perhaps would not love us or “like” us unconditionally if they knew and saw our true selves, raw, real and at the core? We follow, like and admire virtual strangers and buy into the edited parts of their story that they choose to share with their world of virtual friends and fans. This is not the stuff that real, solid, lasting and unconditional friendships and relationships are built on. It is a world where you are more loved and good enough when get 100+ likes on a sexy selfie, than to get 10 likes on an inspirational message or quote that uplifts others. A world where we are liked by so many but truly known and loved by none. We can meet the most valuable, coolest, most loving, most intelligent, good hearted person who will love us unconditionally just as we are, support us in all of our dreams and so much more and who is actually a real person, yet not even really see, value or notice them, because they are not an “Instagram model” whose beauty, worth and value has been validated by the “world” through thousands of likes. This all beckons the question: Has validation, acceptance, unconditional love and real actions and emotions from real people, who truly know us at the core, who love us at our best and at our worst, during our ups and our downs, who know every flaw and scar we have, and the story behind each one of them yet see beauty in each of them, and who know our deepest, darkest fears, hopes, dreams and secrets become irrelevant, invalid, unimportant and not enough, until our superficial mirror of social media has confirmed it? Have we lost touch with what is truly valuable, substantial and real? The real people in our lives are a much better and more accurate measure to reflect back to us who we truly are and what we are truly worth, however when taking into account that as humans we each see things from our own perspective (which is sometimes warped too by so many things), as well as that we as people project onto others what we feel about ourselves, they too are not accurate mirrors to look to either to validate, accept and mirror our true image and true self back to us. The only true reflection of who we are can be seen when looking into the God mirror. The mirror of what the one who created us says about us, and who He says we are and what we are worth. It is the only the pure, most authentic quality mirror that we can really look into for real validation and to see a true reflection of who you are and what we are worth. The God mirror will always mirror back our true value, that we are genuinely accepted as we are, loved unconditionally, truly beautiful as we are inside and out.  No matter where we are at in life, what we’ve done, or what we look like at any given moment of the day. We live in a time where we are more connected than ever thanks to social media, yet we are void of real true connections, and disconnected not only from building, fostering and nurturing real relationships and friendships, but also from who we truly are and what we are truly worth. We live in a time where self help and personal development content is at our fingertips via the internet, yet our wounds and warped image of self, low self-esteem, insecurity and even depression run deeper than ever before, and is rapidly increasing, affecting kids as young as 13, due to warped mirrors like the superficial world of social media that we so often forget is not reality. I see the effects of social media on how it has warped the view of ourselves and our worth, almost daily In my coaching and counselling sessions. We are more “social” than ever due to social media, yet we’ve become totally separated and distant from the real people in our lives. So I leave you with two question to ask yourself and to answer to yourself as honestly as you can:
  • What mirror are you turning to, and how often, consciously or sub-consciously looking for it to reflect back to you who you are, what you are worth, and how much the true you is accepted, valued and loved?
  • Is it perhaps time that you threw out the old broken and plastic mirrors that warp the true image of who you are and what you are worth and to replace it once and for all, with the authentic best quality mirror that we all have access to?
And perhaps, if we are honest enough with ourselves, a social media break to really re-connect with, truly notice, wake up to, value and love the amazing real people that may already be in our life and right in front of us, might be the very first step we need to take right now, to break the hold that this virtual and superficial world of social media has sucked so many of us into.