Wholeness is something we all desire. Yes, even that person you look up to or secretly envy whose life just looks amazing on social media.
The dictionary describes wholeness as:
1) the state of forming a complete and harmonious whole; unity2) the state of being unbroken or undamaged.
But what is wholeness really?
After almost 10 000 hours of one on one coaching and mentoring with clients, I would say that what represents a state of wholeness to each of us is different.
For some wholeness is represented by inner peace, direction & purpose and for others it is represented by their external circumstances and achievements.
One of my favorite quotes by the Sufi Poet Rumi is: “Everything in the universe is within you. Ask all from yourself.”
Whatever represents a state of wholeness to you personally there is only one path to achieving it ….. turning inward!
Wholeness is an internal state. It can only be achieved through our own actions, choices, thoughts & beliefs and never by external factors outside of our control.
Further below n this blog I share the 7 Principles to achieving tangible, lasting wholeness that I learned from the poet and teacher Rumi. I modified them slightly based on my own experiences and research and have integrated these principles with great results and success into my own life.
The results I’ve seen from implementing these 7 principles on a daily basis in my own life as well as the lives of my coaching clients has been consistent and nothing short of miraculous!
Follow these 7 simple principles and you are guaranteed to achieve wholeness and inner peace
Anger doesn’t’ just feel awful, it also creates toxins in our body that make us ill. But most importantly, it is a very low vibrational energetic frequency to vibrate at. The root of anger is really fear which is an even lower vibrational energy to vibrate at. We attract things into our lives of the same vibrational frequency that we’re vibrating at, so unless you want more things to be angry or fearful about, let go of anger and fear.
The mind is very powerful and it doesn’t’ know the difference between fantasy and reality. What you think about you’ll feel even if it isn’t really happening in the present moment. So stop playing that movie of what happened over and over again in your head. Decide to let it go. This brings us to the next principle …..
It’s been scientifically proven that unforgiveness can cause life threatening illnesses. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you condone what the other person did. It just means that you love yourself enough to not poison your own body and sabotage your own dreams. Suffering is truly optional and we can choose to end our own suffering at any time by choosing to forgive. Set yourself free today – forgiveness is the key. (If you need some help with letting go and letting God click here for a powerful prayer).
Release All Judgement:
This was a hard one for me to overcome. Not just judgement of others but of myself too. Judgement only causes us more suffering. It is derived from us clinging to the dualistic, fixed patterns of believing that things are right or wrong and really stem from our own beliefs about whether we are loved or unloved, successful or unsuccessful, deserving or undeserving, abundant or depleted, advantaged or disadvantaged, important or unimportant … you get the gist right?
We were never meant to monitor anyone else’s journeys but only to focus on our own journey of evolving and becoming the highest possible version of ourselves. And every single person is on that journey too. We are all just mirrors to one another of things we desire and need to heal within ourselves in order to reach our own highest potential and we cannot do it when we have judgement towards ourselves or others.
We are all on a journey to heal, grow, learn and evolve and we do so through experiences and by learning through contrast. We cannot know what we do want or who we want to be without experiencing what we don’t want and who we don’t want to be. Every single human on this earth is on their own journey to discovering their highest potential, including you. We are all learning, we are all growing, we are all evolving, we all have fractured experiences, “issues” and “stuff”. And most importantly, we all did the best we could with whatever we knew at any given moment of our lives. We can only choose to learn, grow, heal and evolve and to do better each time.
So have compassion with yourself and with others. We are all on the same journey. Practicing compassion will help you to release anger and forgive too. Choose non-judgement of yourself and others and choose to have compassion for yourself and for them instead.
No matter what we achieve or how much we evolve, grow, heal and become better versions of ourselves, humility should always remain. So many people become judgmental of others when they begin to evolve and grow, but the truth is this is an ego state of mind. Our ego is what makes us believe we are separate from one another. That we are in competition with each other. That some are superior and others inferior to one another. But the truth is we are all the same. The same essence just in different bodies and on different journeys while we are here on earth.
And although we are powerful spiritual beings, we are not doing it alone. There is a Higher Power at work in us, through us and with us without which we cannot achieve anything anyway. So remember to stay humble. Practicing the principles of releasing all judgement of others and yourself and having compassion as mentioned in the previous points will help you to stay humble on your journey as well.
Our egoic mind tells us when things appear in our experience that we perceive as “not good” or “undesirable”, that what is busy happening is “wrong” and “not as it should be”. The egoic mind feeds off of drama, difficulty and suffering under the false pretense of protecting us. Truth is that everything is always happening for us and never to us. As I mentioned in one of the previous points, we learn through experiences and through contrast. Another way to describe being content is gratitude or appreciation. It is choosing to see whatever is going on as being here to serve us on our journey to grow, heal, evolve and become the highest possible version of ourselves.
Have gratitude and appreciation for whatever “is” as being a servant, teacher, guide and catalyst to the best possible version of you. When we resist “what is” in any given moment we suffer. Acceptance, contentment, gratitude, appreciation and non-resistance of what we deem as unpleasurable or something we are adverse to ends our suffering and allows these events and experiences in our lives to serve us. Total acceptance and gratitude for “what is” goes beyond what we think “should be” or “ought to be”. It is a knowing that from our limited ego perspective we cannot fully see the big picture and that all there is, is the present moment and it is perfect right now exactly as it is.
This principle doesn’t need much explanation. We all know that being generous feels really good to us as humans and makes others feel amazing too. Generosity is often perceived as being generous materially, but generosity spans much further than just being generous financially or materially. We need to be generous in the giving of our time, our compassion, our attention, our love, our appreciation of others and ourselves and everything else that we have to offer as an individual and as part of the collective here on earth.
PRACTICAL DAILY INTEGRATION & IMPLEMENTATION OF THESE PRINCIPLES:
These principles are usually things we know and strive to be. But life happens and we find ourselves yanked out of our desire to live this way without even realizing it at times.
Here are a few practical ways that has helped me to implement and integrate these principles into my life as a way of life to experience optimal results:
Set hourly reminders for yourself on your phone. Make each of these principles one of your hourly reminders and when it goes off, either do something practical in that moment to practice it, or spend 5 minutes in quiet meditation pondering it and visualizing yourself being and living it and how it impacts your life and the lives of those you interact with
At the end of each day, reflect on the day that has passed and write down how often you did and didn’t implement each of these principles in your experiences, thoughts, interactions and actions throughout the day. Remember to practice compassion and non judgement for yourself and others in this process. If you identify an experience where you didn’t practice a principle, simply acknowledge it, thank it for being your teacher and healer, write down how you can do it better next time or would like to handle it next time and then choose to do better tomorrow.