How To Incorporate CBT Principles In The Workplace

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) has many benefits, not only for individuals but for teams and workplaces as a whole.

CBT in the workplace has many benefits and can enhance employee well-being by addressing stress, improving resilience, and fostering a positive mindset. It also promotes better problem-solving skills, effective communication, and helps manage work-related anxiety. Overall, CBT contributes to a healthier work environment and increased employee productivity.

Employees are people and people have habitual subconscious patterns in the way they think and react to situations they are facing on a daily basis. CBT in the workplace is imperative as it can contributes to a positive work culture, increased employee satisfaction, and improved overall mental health, leading to higher productivity and job performance.

Organizational Development Specialist, Coach and CBT Practitioner Mickey Roothman says:

By incorporating CBT principles, workplaces can create a more supportive and psychologically healthy environment, fostering the well-being and resilience of employees. Training sessions, workshops, and ongoing support can help reinforce these principles and contribute to a positive workplace culture and increased Psychological safety at work.

Implementing CBT in the workplace involves several steps:

1. Assessment: Conduct an initial assessment to identify areas where CBT can be beneficial, considering factors such as stress levels, communication challenges, and overall well-being.

2. Training Programs: Provide training programs, workshops and coaching on basic CBT principles for employees. This may include understanding cognitive distortions, recognizing negative thought patterns, and learning coping strategies.

3. Employee Support Services: Offer access to mental health support services, such as counseling or therapy, either through in-house resources or external partnerships.

4. Promote Awareness: Create awareness campaigns to reduce stigma around mental health. Encourage open conversations about well-being and emphasize the importance of seeking help when needed.

5. Leadership Involvement: Encourage leadership to lead by example in embracing CBT principles. This can include managers openly discussing stress management techniques or participating in training programs.

6. Provide Resources: Make resources available, such as self-help materials, apps, or online platforms that support CBT practices. Ensure employees know where to find and access these resources.

7. Integrate CBT into Policies: Consider integrating CBT principles into workplace policies, such as promoting a positive work environment, encouraging work-life balance, and addressing issues related to workplace stress.

8. Feedback Mechanisms: Establish feedback mechanisms to gauge the effectiveness of CBT initiatives. This can include surveys, focus groups, or individual feedback sessions to understand the impact on employee well-being.

9. Create a Supportive Culture: Foster a workplace culture that values mental health and well-being. This involves recognizing and appreciating employees’ efforts, providing constructive feedback, and creating a supportive environment for personal and professional development.

10. Regular Check-Ins: Schedule regular check-ins to discuss mental health and well-being, both individually and within teams. This helps identify ongoing challenges and allows for timely interventions.

Practical Application of CBT principles in the workplace involves integrating the following concepts:

1. Cognitive Restructuring:

Encourage Positive Thinking: Help employees identify and challenge negative thoughts, promoting a more positive and constructive mindset in the workplace.

2. Problem-Solving Skills:

Teach Solution-Focused Approaches: Equip employees with effective problem-solving techniques to address work-related challenges and enhance their ability to find solutions.

3. Behavioral Activation:

Set Realistic Goals: Assist employees in setting achievable goals, fostering a sense of accomplishment and motivation in their work tasks.

4. Stress Management:

Mindfulness Techniques: Introduce mindfulness and relaxation exercises to help employees manage stress and stay focused in high-pressure situations.

5. Communication Skills:

Address Cognitive Distortions in Communication: Train employees to recognize and modify distorted thought patterns that may affect their communication with colleagues, clients, or superiors.

6. Self-Monitoring:

Encourage Self-Reflection: Promote self-awareness and reflection, helping employees monitor their own thoughts, emotions, and behaviors to identify areas for improvement.

7. Graded Exposure:

Gradual Exposure to Challenges: Facilitate a gradual approach to facing workplace challenges, allowing employees to build confidence and resilience over time.

8. Time Management:

Break Down Tasks: Teach employees to break down larger tasks into smaller, more manageable components, promoting a sense of control and reducing feelings of being overwhelmed.

9. Social Skills:

Role-Playing Scenarios: Conduct role-playing exercises to enhance interpersonal skills, enabling employees to navigate social interactions more effectively.

10. Positive Reinforcement:

Recognition and Reward: Implement systems for recognizing and rewarding positive behaviors and achievements, reinforcing a culture of positivity and accomplishment.

Get Professional Help:

Great leaders know that they don’t need to know how to do everything, or spread their time too thin by trying to do things or figure it out themselves.

Don’t deprive your organization or your employees from this essential tool, by procrastinating on incorporating CBT in your organization or team due to a lack of time or knowledge. CBT is a very specialized field, so get specialized professional help from an Organizational Development Specialist or a CBT Practitioner who specializes in CBT in the workplace.

If there’s one thing that is essential for organizations to implement in the workplace in 2024, its CBT. Don’t wait. Start today.

Need professional help? Book a consultation with Organizational Development Specialist, Coach and CBT Practitioner Mickey Roothman click here now

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Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is essential in the modern workplace.

What is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)?

CBT stands for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. It’s a widely used therapeutic approach that helps individuals identify and change negative thought patterns and behaviors, aiming to improve mental health conditions such as anxiety and depression. We live in a fast-paced ever changing world which is why CBT has become an essential in the work place. Its a crucial part of cultivating a culture of psychological safety and wellbeing.

How does CBT work?

CBT works by helping individuals recognize and change negative thought patterns and behaviors. Therapists work collaboratively with clients to identify and challenge distorted thinking, replacing it with more balanced and constructive thoughts. The goal is to modify behaviors associated with negative emotions, promoting healthier coping mechanisms and improving overall mental well-being.

Why should you implement and integrate CBT in the workplace?

Organizational Development Specialist, Coach and CBT Practitioner Mickey Roothman says:

Employees are people and people have habitual subconscious patterns in the way they think and react to situations they are facing on a daily basis. CBT in the workplace is imperative as it can contributes to a positive work culture, increased employee satisfaction, and improved overall mental health, leading to higher productivity and job performance.

CBT in the workplace can enhance employee well-being by addressing stress, improving resilience, and fostering a positive mindset. It also promotes better problem-solving skills, effective communication, and helps manage work-related anxiety. Overall, CBT contributes to a healthier work environment and increased employee productivity.

Benefits of CBT in the Workplace:

  • Stress Reduction: CBT equips employees with tools to manage stress, helping them navigate work pressures more effectively.
  • Improved Problem-Solving: By addressing cognitive distortions, CBT enhances logical thinking, aiding employees in approaching challenges with a solution-oriented mindset.
  • Enhanced Resilience: CBT fosters resilience by teaching coping mechanisms, enabling employees to bounce back from setbacks and adapt to changes in the workplace.
  • Positive Mindset: It promotes a positive outlook by challenging negative thought patterns, leading to improved morale and a more optimistic workplace atmosphere.
  • Effective Communication: CBT can improve interpersonal skills, enhancing communication among team members and reducing workplace conflicts.
  • Increased Productivity: Employees with better mental health, achieved through CBT, tend to be more focused, engaged, and productive in their work.
  • Better Work-Life Balance: CBT assists individuals in establishing boundaries and managing work-related stress, contributing to a healthier work-life balance.
  • Reduced Absenteeism: Improved mental health through CBT may lead to decreased absenteeism as employees are better equipped to handle work-related challenges.
  • Enhanced Team Dynamics: CBT can strengthen team relationships by promoting empathy and understanding, creating a more supportive and collaborative work environment.
  • Prevention of Burnout: By addressing factors contributing to burnout, CBT helps employees maintain a sustainable level of engagement and satisfaction in their roles.

Practical ways CBT positively contributes to the workplace:

1. Time Management Improvement: CBT techniques can assist employees in identifying and addressing time-wasting habits, leading to better time management and increased productivity.

2. Conflict Resolution Skills: Through CBT, employees can develop effective communication and conflict resolution skills, reducing workplace tensions and promoting a harmonious environment.

3. Meeting Anxiety Reduction: CBT can help individuals manage anxiety related to meetings or presentations, ensuring that employees can contribute confidently and express their ideas more effectively.

4. Workload Stress Management: CBT equips employees with tools to manage overwhelming workloads by breaking tasks into manageable parts and developing realistic strategies for completion.

5. Feedback Processing: CBT can aid in processing feedback constructively, helping employees view feedback as an opportunity for growth rather than a source of stress.

6. Adaptation to Change: In times of organizational change, CBT can assist employees in adapting to new circumstances, fostering a more resilient workforce.

7. Remote Work Adjustment: With the rise of remote work, CBT can help employees navigate the challenges associated with isolation, time management, and maintaining work-life balance.

8. Customer Service Enhancement: CBT techniques can be applied to improve customer service by helping employees manage stress in high-pressure customer interactions and maintain a positive attitude.

9. Team Collaboration: CBT fosters a mindset of collaboration and teamwork, reducing interpersonal conflicts and enhancing overall team dynamics.

10. Leadership Development: CBT can benefit leaders by improving emotional intelligence, decision-making, and conflict resolution skills, contributing to more effective and empathetic leadership.

By incorporating CBT principles, workplaces can create a more supportive and psychologically healthy environment, fostering the well-being and resilience of employees. Training sessions, workshops, and ongoing support can help reinforce these principles and contribute to a positive workplace culture.

Remember, the successful implementation of CBT in the workplace requires commitment from leadership, ongoing communication, and a genuine effort to create a supportive and mentally healthy work environment.

Need help incorporating CBT Principles into your workplace or team dynamic? Get in touch and book a consult with me here.

If you enjoyed this article you may also like to read How To Integrate, Incorporate and Implement CBT Principles In The Workplace

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EMOTIONAL DETOX: 7 Pivotal Steps To Emotional Freedom

Wheel of Emotions So its one of “those” days where everything that could possibly go wrong; does, and your emotions are off the charts, in fact your emotional well being seems severely under attack and at risk. You wake up only to see that its 06:30 AM and that’s the time you’re already supposed to be leaving for work. Your alarm clock didn’t go off for some inexplicable reason and no matter what you do, you’re going to be late! You hustle to shove yourself into the outfit you luckily laid out for work already last night, but as you grab your coffee to get one sip in on the way out, you spill it all over your brand new, crisp white Chanel shirt. So you rush to change only to find that your back-up preference is in the washing basket and your washing day is only tomorrow.. You eventually make it to the car with no further delays only to realize that you forgot to fill up your tank last night and the petrol light seems like its deliberately trying to be snarky flashing the words “EMPTY” in big red letters at you! You finally make it to the office and it appears that all hell had broken loose in the mere 10 minutes that you were late. To top it all off, the boss is in a bad mood and glaring at you (you think its probably because you’re late) and he piles yet another crisis that is on deadline onto you. At this point the “drama queen” inside your head revs it up a gear, kick into overdrive and she’s like: “He’s probably testing me to see if I will manage. He’s just setting me up to fail.  He never liked me anyway. I bet he is just looking for a reason to fire me and my being late just added another bullet to his arsenal. Oh my gosh how will I find work again. The job market is so over-saturated as it is. I’m going to starve and end up living as a bum on the street. Why didn’t I just take my phone in last time it did that? Oh yes it was because I had to work late to finish that project. That my boss doesn’t remember. He doesn’t even see the value I bring to the team and all of the extra things I do. Why the heck do I do them anyway? They don’t appreciate me. No one does. Its because I’m not good enough. Just like my ex. Nothing is ever good enough. Maybe I should just resign before he fires me”EASY THERE GIRL! STOP & BREATHE! We’ve all had a day, at times a week and some are even convinced a life like this, right? Okay that may have been a little bit over dramatized but you get the gist. And it serves the point I’m getting to. When you read that, how did it make you feel? A little anxious perhaps? Did your heart start racing or your stomach turn into a knot? Changes are that it absolutely did. That wasn’t even happening for real and it wasn’t even happening to YOU, yet your body reacted to it physically anyway and here’s why.
  • The mind doesn’t know the difference between fantasy and reality. So whatever you’re thinking it thinks is really happening. I wrote that in the first person and you read it that way too, so your mind did 2 things there. It perceived is as something you are really thinking and thus experiencing and it reacted accordingly by letting you feel it as emotions and physical manifestations in your body.
  • Despite most people believing that their emotions cause their thoughts, its actually the other way around. Our thoughts cause our emotions. You read it (thus thought it) and pesto, you felt it right? Not convinced? Think of a person or situation that makes you anxious. Focus on your body for a second and feel how and where you can feel that anxiety in your body. Whatever you thought about isn’t even happening at the moment yet you were able to conjure up those emotions physically in the present and physically react to it anyway just because you thought about it.
From a young age, most of us are taught that emotions are a bad thing, not acceptable, shameful and even a sign of weakness. But the truth is its really our power! Our emotions are our GPS and KPI’s to what we can expect to experience showing up in our reality soon. Emotional Healing Detox   Let me explain. So you already know that our thoughts cause our emotions. But what are emotions? Just like thoughts, emotions are vibrational energy. And Science and in Quantum circles it has already been proven that energy attracts the same energy to itself. So whatever vibrational energy you are sending out through your emotions is really what you’re attracting more of to yourself then. Right about now you may also be having a little “AHA’ moment going on inside of you as to why it is that when one bad thing happens it can feel like it caused a snowball effect causing an avalanche of sh*t bombs rolling your way. But, this doesn’t have to happen. See if you re-calibrated your energy after the first shitty thing happened, you wouldn’t have attracted more drama into your experience. Re-calibrate your what now? Well basically if you chose a better thinking thought in that moment like: “Well, stuff happens. I couldn’t control the alarm clock not going off. I’m never late and I’m a hard worker so I’m sure my boss will understand. Everything happens for a reason and I am thankful for whatever this experience was here to teach me or protect me from” , none of that other stuff would have happened. You would have pivoted from a low negative vibrational energy (thoughts and feelings) to a high vibrational energy in an instant and that would have been the end of it. The rest of your day would have gone a lot smoother and you would have had a lot more joy and inner peace too. So what we attract then really starts with our thoughts. But here’s the big whopper! We think around 80 000 thoughts a day and only 5% of those thoughts are thoughts we are consciously aware of. The other 95% are subconscious thought patterns based on our upbringing, past experiences and beliefs that are running on auto-pilot. Hang ten now, don’t get discouraged just yet! The title of this blog said that this was about showing you how to do it and I always deliver on my promises. Okay, so if we we’re not even aware of our thoughts like 95% of the time and they’re running on auto pilot, how do we then know when we are thinking a low vibrational thought that will attract more low vibrational experiences to us? QUE DRUM ROLE PLEASE ….. Through our EMOTIONS! Like I said in the beginning, our emotions are really our GPS for what we are busy attracting to ourselves and creating in our lives. And lets face it. It’s a heck of a lot easier to be aware of how you feel than it is to try and manage 80 000 thoughts a day of which 95% are subconsciously on autopilot. We usually know when we don’t feel well emotionally because our body reacts to it physically in manifestations like stomach knots, headaches, neck spasms, ground down teeth, chest pains and so much more. The important one to mention here is that it may manifest as debilitating and even serious physical illnesses. Emotions are energy but they also cause chemicals to form in our body. This is really the body’s way of trying to protect us, our built in protection and self preservation mechanism. But these chemicals were meant to protect us for short term threats we experience in our environment and they were never meant to be present for extended periods of time. So when we are not aware of low vibrational thoughts causing low vibrational feelings and manifesting as toxins in our body that aren’t dealt with over an extended period of time, our body will eventually warn us that something needs to get “processed” and worked on that is causing it to malfunction in the form of illness. if we can learn to become aware of our emotions and to process them, we can nip it in the bud straight away and not wait for more bad experiences to show up or for physical illness to set in to tell us that we are headed for disaster.

MY 2 FAVORITE PRACTICAL TIPS TO LIVE AWARE OF YOUR EMOTIONS:

  • Set hourly reminders on your phone that just says “How do I feel?” – Stuff happens throughout our day and this way we are prompted to become aware of how we feel every hour, and then either process it or at the very least pivot by choosing a better thinking thought and better feeling emotion in that moment, stopping the low vibrational thoughts and energies from gaining more momentum.
  • At the end of the day before you go to sleep or when you’re soaking in a bath, reflect on your day’s experiences. Become aware of how they made you feel, what you thought about it and how you acted and reacted to it. This way you choose to pivot and stop those low vibrational thoughts, feelings, experiences and frankly the story you told yourself about it in its tracks at least once a day and you don’t carry it into the next day with you which stops its from gaining momentum.
PS: If you’re like me and you struggle to identify what emotion you are feeling at times, have no fear. Use the following Wheel Of Emotions Chart to help you to hit the nail on the head. Wheel Of Feelings Now you may be thinking, “what about all the other times I didn’t do this because I didn’t know about it yet? “Fact is there may be some old trapped emotions in your body that you need to release. Its time for you to do an Emotional Detox! Clean the slate and pivot! You’ll experience tremendous emotional freedom and as a bonus your energy levels and health will increase as well. Overall you’ll just be feeling GREAT and attracting more of the experiences you DO want into your life as a result. Like everything in life it takes some commitment and action on your part, but I promise you it is easy to do and so damn worth it!

HERE’S MY 7 PIVOTAL STEPS TO EMOTIONAL FREEDOM:

You can do this exercise as an emotional detox now to process specific events and experiences, but its also a great daily practice to incorporate when you become aware of how you’re feelings through your hourly phone reminders, or once a day when you’re reflecting on the day that has passed. These 7 steps will help you to process and release emotions straight away with a lot more ease as you bring them to conscious awareness.

NEED A LITTLE EXTRA SUPPORT?

Check out the blog on The Roadmap To Finding Wholeness & Inner Peace Check out the blog on 5 Steps To Lasting Happiness That No One’s Told You About Dive a little deeper into a meaningful life with my Ultimate Life Transformation Program Listen to this Podcast Episode of Breakthrough on 5 Steps To Getting Your Breakthrough  Connect with me on Facebook Connect with me on Instagram Connect with me on Linkedin

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The Roadmap To Finding Wholeness & Inner Peace

  The Roadmap to wholeness and inner peace   Wholeness is something we all desire. Yes, even that person you look up to or secretly envy whose life just looks amazing on social media.   The dictionary describes wholeness as: 1)  the state of forming a complete and harmonious whole; unity 2)  the state of being unbroken or undamaged.   But what is wholeness really?   After almost 10 000 hours of one on one coaching and mentoring with clients, I would say that what represents a state of wholeness to each of us is different. For some wholeness is represented by inner peace, direction & purpose and for others it is represented by their external circumstances and achievements.   The Roadmap To Wholeness and Inner Peace   One of my favorite quotes by the Sufi Poet Rumi is: “Everything in the universe is within you. Ask all from yourself.” Whatever represents a state of wholeness to you personally there is only one path to achieving it ….. turning inward! Wholeness is an internal state.  It can only be achieved through our own actions, choices, thoughts & beliefs and never by external factors outside of our control.   Further below n this blog I share the 7 Principles to achieving tangible, lasting wholeness that I learned from the poet and teacher Rumi. I modified them slightly based on my own experiences and research and have integrated these principles with great results and success into my own life. The results I’ve seen from implementing these 7 principles on a daily basis in my own life as well as the lives of my coaching clients has been consistent and nothing short of miraculous!

 

Follow these 7 simple principles and you are guaranteed to achieve wholeness and inner peace

Find Wholeness and inner peace Carl Jung Quote  
  1. Remove Anger: 
Anger doesn’t’ just feel awful, it also creates toxins in our body that make us ill. But most importantly, it is a very low vibrational energetic frequency to vibrate at.  The root of anger is really fear which is an even lower vibrational energy to vibrate at. We attract things into our lives of the same vibrational frequency that we’re vibrating at, so unless you want more things to be angry or fearful about, let go of anger and fear. The mind is very powerful and it doesn’t’ know the difference between fantasy and reality. What you think about you’ll feel even if it isn’t really happening in the present moment. So stop playing that movie of what happened over and over again in your head. Decide to let it go. This brings us to the next principle …..  
  1. Forgive:
It’s been scientifically proven that unforgiveness can cause life threatening illnesses. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you condone what the other person did. It just means that you love yourself enough to not poison your own body and sabotage your own dreams.  Suffering is truly optional and we can choose to end our own suffering at any time by choosing to forgive. Set yourself free today – forgiveness is the key. (If you need some help with letting go and letting God click here for a powerful prayer).  
  1. Release All Judgement:
This was a hard one for me to overcome. Not just judgement of others but of myself too. Judgement only causes us more suffering. It is derived from us clinging to the dualistic, fixed patterns of believing that things are right or wrong and really stem from our own beliefs about whether we are loved or unloved, successful or unsuccessful, deserving or undeserving, abundant or depleted, advantaged or disadvantaged, important or unimportant … you get the gist right? We were never meant to monitor anyone else’s journeys but only to focus on our own journey of evolving and becoming the highest possible version of ourselves.  And every single person is on that journey too. We are all just mirrors to one another of things we desire and need to heal within ourselves in order to reach our own highest potential and we cannot do it when we have judgement towards ourselves or others.  
  1. Have Compassion:
We are all on a journey to heal, grow, learn and evolve and we do so through experiences and by learning through contrast. We cannot know what we do want or who we want to be without experiencing what we don’t want and who we don’t want to be.  Every single human on this earth is on their own journey to discovering their highest potential, including you. We are all learning, we are all growing, we are all evolving, we all have fractured experiences, “issues” and “stuff”. And most importantly, we all did the best we could with whatever we knew at any given moment of our lives. We can only choose to learn, grow, heal and evolve and to do better each time. So have compassion with yourself and with others. We are all on the same journey. Practicing compassion will help you to release anger and forgive too. Choose non-judgement of yourself and others and choose to have compassion for yourself and for them instead.  
  1. Stay Humble:
No matter what we achieve or how much we evolve, grow, heal and become better versions of ourselves, humility should always remain. So many people become judgmental of others when they begin to evolve and grow, but the truth is this is an ego state of mind. Our ego is what makes us believe we are separate from one another. That we are in competition with each other. That some are superior and others inferior to one another. But the truth is we are all the same. The same essence just in different bodies and on different journeys while we are here on earth. And although we are powerful spiritual beings, we are not doing it alone. There is a Higher Power at work in us, through us and with us without which we cannot achieve anything anyway. So remember to stay humble. Practicing the principles of releasing all judgement of others and yourself and having compassion as mentioned in the previous points will help you to stay humble on your journey as well.  
  1. Be Content:
Our egoic mind tells us when things appear in our experience that we perceive as “not good” or “undesirable”, that what is busy happening is “wrong” and “not as it should be”. The egoic mind feeds off of drama, difficulty and suffering under the false pretense of protecting us.  Truth is that everything is always happening for us and never to us. As I mentioned in one of the previous points, we learn through experiences and through contrast. Another way to describe being content is gratitude or appreciation. It is choosing to see whatever is going on as being here to serve us on our journey to grow, heal, evolve and become the highest possible version of ourselves. Have gratitude and appreciation for whatever “is” as being a servant, teacher, guide and catalyst to the best possible version of you. When we resist “what is” in any given moment we suffer. Acceptance, contentment, gratitude, appreciation and non-resistance of what we deem as unpleasurable or something we are adverse to ends our suffering and allows these events and experiences in our lives to serve us. Total acceptance and gratitude for “what is” goes beyond what we think “should be” or “ought to be”. It is a knowing that from our limited ego perspective we cannot fully see the big picture and that all there is, is the present moment and it is perfect right now exactly as it is.  
  1. Be Generous:
This principle doesn’t need much explanation.  We all know that being generous feels really good to us as humans and makes others feel amazing too. Generosity is often perceived as being generous materially, but generosity spans much further than just being generous financially or materially. We need to be generous in the giving of our time, our compassion, our attention, our love, our appreciation of others and ourselves and everything else that we have to offer as an individual and as part of the collective here on earth.  

PRACTICAL DAILY INTEGRATION & IMPLEMENTATION OF THESE PRINCIPLES:

These principles are usually things we know and strive to be. But life happens and we find ourselves yanked out of our desire to live this way without even realizing it at times. Here are a few practical ways that has helped me to implement and integrate these principles into my life as a way of life to experience optimal results:
  • Set hourly reminders for yourself on your phone. Make each of these principles one of your hourly reminders and when it goes off, either do something practical in that moment to practice it, or spend 5 minutes in quiet meditation pondering it and visualizing yourself being and living it and how it impacts your life and the lives of those you interact with
  • At the end of each day, reflect on the day that has passed and write down how often you did and didn’t implement each of these principles in your experiences, thoughts, interactions and actions throughout the day. Remember to practice compassion and non judgement for yourself and others in this process. If you identify an experience where you didn’t practice a principle, simply acknowledge it, thank it for being your teacher and healer, write down how you can do it better next time or would like to handle it next time and then choose to do better tomorrow.

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5 Steps To Lasting Happiness (that nobody’s telling you about)

5 steps to lasting happiness blog by Mickey Roothman Coach, Speaker & Author

Happiness seems so hard to come by and even harder to hold onto, right?

The other day I was talking to one of my clients about why we struggle to hold onto the “new & improved me” and to remain positive and hold onto our happiness once we’ve chosen a better life. It got me thinking about my own journey of see-sawing up and down from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows in literally seconds at times. Now before I had gone on my self awareness and spiritual awakening journey to understand why we are who we are and do what we do, this was a common occurrence, but it didn’t make sense why it was STILL happening now that I knew better and had made the conscious choice to be happier and implemented the daily practices to back it (like meditation, daily reflection, questioning my thoughts, etc.) Even the apostle Paul wondered why he still did the things he didn’t want to do even after he chose to turn his life around.
”I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[a] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it”. – Romans 7:5-20
Have you ever notices that you can be on such a huge high, so positive and ready to be a nice human after watching an inspirational Youtube video or reading a powerful motivational quote, until …. something shitty happens in your day or your life that in one foul swoop just seems to knock you back down to a low vibe, negativity or lashing out at someone. See here’s the thing … We are “pre-programmed” as humans to resist happiness & feeling good. Yes, you heard me right. Our unconscious default setting is that we have to struggle, difficulty, and to feel guilty about being TOO successful, TOO happy, TOO wealthy. And when we finally have those things, we begin to feel guilty for having them. We go into fear about losing them and begin to wait for the other shoe to drop and for it to be ripped away from us at any second. But why? Because we’ve been sub-consciously programmed from a young age that good things don’t come easy and that they don’t last.

Before we dive into how to KEEP our happiness, lets look out how to find it first.

The route to finding real happiness can be described in one word: SELF-AWARENESS. See until we become aware of our own emotions, habits, beliefs, thoughts, actions, reactions and so on, we cannot really be happy. These are the very things that caused us not to be happy in the first place and until we become aware of them, we cannot begin to change them to change the outcome. Looking outside of ourselves for happiness just makes us fearful on an unconscious level anyway because we sub-consciously know that other people and external factors are the things we don’t have any control over. And as humans we fear what we can’t control (like other people for example). The reality is that the only thing we do have control over is OURSELVES. This is why finding happiness can only start by taking your focus off of what’s going on outside of you and becoming self-aware of whats going on within YOU!

So, once you’ve found real happiness, how do you hold onto it?

It took me several years of doing everything I knew to do to hold onto the new, positive and conscious living me to figure out what REALLY brings about lasting, tangible results when transforming our lives. Through my own personal life transformation journey from being broke, victimized, undervalued, sad, angry, stressed, anxious, lost, alone and directionless to consistently being happy, free, certain, clear, supported, successful, healthy, joyful and valued and over 10 000 hours of 1:1 coaching with my clients to identify exactly WHAT brings lasting change and transformation. What I identified was that we need to address the areas of our life that we want to transform on each of these 5 key levels: 1) Emotional 2) Behavioral 3) Mindset 4) Spiritual 5) Practical/Physical Let me unpack this for you a little further to help you to identify why your initial results and the “new & improved you” didn’t last. Often times traditional therapists work mostly only on the emotional level, right? Truth is that working on an emotional level and resolving underlying conscious or unconscious emotional traumas will help you to feel better, but if the particular situation isn’t addressed at the other 4 levels as well, the feeling better won’t last. For example, the experience may have caused you to form limiting beliefs about yourself, others, life, love, money, success or whatever, and those beliefs are still present (mindset). Which means you’ll continue creating, attracting & experiencing similar experiences because of them. There may be certain behaviors and patterns you formed because of the experience that need to be addressed too. For example you perhaps became a people-pleaser or an introvert because of the experience which means you are still behaving that way which isn’t the real you. This in turn causes unconscious thoughts and emotions of resentment, dissatisfaction and unhappiness because these are “learned” behaviors you developed and not the true you, which is inherently what we are wired to desire to achieve as human beings. Perhaps the situation or emotional traumas caused certain beliefs that you don’t have what it takes, you’re not as good as others or that you don’ t deserve to  or have the things you deem necessary to have a great life like everyone else. This is why we need to work on the spiritual level as well to re-frame those thoughts and beliefs and for you to re-connect with a Higher Power of your own understanding to remember who you really are and where your support and supply of everything you need comes from. And just in case you’ve forgotten or you’re wondering who you are …
You are not a limited human being trying to have some kind of spiritual experience here on earth and find your way or try to make it happen all on your own.  You are a powerful spiritual being having a human experience here on earth and you are connected to, guided and supported by the entire universe and the One who made it, while on your mission here on earth.
Lastly, we have to look at the practical and physical level as well.  If you don’t have actionable daily practices in place to continue growing and working on each of the other 4 levels daily, or you’re living in an environment that is toxic and not good for you, your transformation and the “new improved you” can’t last either. This is why its imperative to also look at your physical and practical circumstances, routines and daily practices. 5 steps to lasting happiness blog by Mickey Roothman Coach, Speaker & Author

Were you able to identify why the new & improved you and your new found happiness didn’t stand a chance of lasting?

In my coaching practice and my programs, whether I’m working with the CEO of a company or a single mother, I tackle all 5 of these levels. Because my mission is to give my clients the tools, methods and guidance to receive tangible, real and lasting transformations and results. My signature life transformation program is also designed to help you tackle each of these levels with whatever area of your life you’re ready to transform FOR GOOD! This program is a self-paced digital 12 week journey that my clients can complete from the comfort of their own home and in their own time.  It has proven to be one of the most popular programs for people who are seeking answers and a step-by-step process to really transform their lives to live their BEST LIFE POSSIBLE. I’m currently practically giving away this program at a crazy 85% off until 18 November 2019, so if YOU are ready to LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE POSSIBLE and for it to LAST, you can check out The Ultimate Life Transformation Program over here -> https://bit.ly/2JMbJA4

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BLOG: Are you unattractive to the things you desire to attract and manifest?

When they get or have what you want

So you’ve put a desire out into the universe that you would like to manifest or attract into your life, but then it begins to looks and feel like everyone else around you is getting that very thing, except for YOU.

Most of us have experienced this at some point in our lives before. And it really isn’t that you begrudge anyone else receiving love, happiness, success, wealth and great opportunities but when this happens, it can leave us feeling left out, not good enough and frankly a little sad, angry and even resentful, right? I recently shared one of my own personal experiences with this in an episode on my podcast channel Food For Thought, but about a year and a half ago, I had something that I decided I was ready to manifest and attract into my life. A desire I had ignored for many years before that.  And sure enough the moment I put it out there, just about EVERYONE around me was getting that very thing, except for ME! And I was really wanting and trying to be happy for them and celebrate with them, but it felt a little “forced”. Because deep down it really felt like a punch in my stomach and a “stuff-you” from the universe each time. This sent me into a thought pattern that left me feeling absolutely horrible! “I’m not a jealous person, nor do I begrudge anyone achieving or receiving good things in their life, so why the heck am I feeling this way?” I asked myself. Turning inward to investigate this was the best thing I could have done! It helped me to grow, evolve, identify and heal some serious limiting beliefs I had, but it also helped me to celebrate for those around me who were getting the things I was wanting to attract, and begin to attract those things into my own life as well.

You see, all things are energy, and so are we.

Energy is how we attract the things we want into our lives. And because of the thoughts I was thinking due to my limiting beliefs, it caused some serious negative and low vibration emotions inside of me which was literally making me UNATTRACTIVE to the very thing I was trying to attract into my life because I wasn’t an energetic match for it. Our beliefs cause our thoughts and our thoughts cause our emotions which in turn creates our energetic frequency that we vibrate at, which then attracts similar energetic frequencies to us.

HERE’S HOW TO TACKLE THIS:

If you’ve been struggling to manifest or attract a specific desire into your life, and perhaps everyone else around you seems to be getting that very thing that you have been wanting, the answer is to start with GETTING A CHECK-UP FROM THE NECK UP! Pause for a second to turn inward and investigate what you are busy thinking and feeling. What are you making this mean about you, life, love, success or whatever it is you are trying to attract and manifest into your life? How is this story you are telling yourself about it making you feel? Now QUESTION THAT! -> Can you say that the story you are telling yourself about it is 100% true? -> Is there even a 1% chance that this could NOT be the truth? – Find evidence of how this could possibly not be the truth, even if its just 1 example. Now change your perspective on how you’ve been viewing it and FLIP THE SCRIPT by telling yourself a new truth and story about it. Notice how your emotions almost instantly shift to a higher vibration and how that heavy weight lifts off of you from the previous false story your mind told you about that situation or thing. By shifting your thoughts and emotions, you’re already shifting into becoming an energetic match for that thing you are trying to manifest and attract. YES, IT REALLY IS THAT EASY! Personal and Business Transformation Coach Speaker AuthorAs I mentioned earlier in this blog post I recently dove deeper into this topic in a podcast episode on my Podcast Channel Food For Thought. IN THIS EPISODE YOU WILL LEARN: -> How to consciously ensure that you are an energetic match for the thing you wish to attract. -> What could be holding you back and resisting/blocking the very thing that you are trying to manifest. -> How to handle it when someone else has or is getting the very thing that you wanted or have been trying to manifest or attract into your own life. -> How to FLIP THE SCRIPT and change your perspective on the situation.

If you are ready to start attracting and manifesting your desires with ease and joy, you can go and have a listen to this podcast episode “When they have or get what you want” on the following links:

🎧 LISTEN NOW ON APPLE DEVICE 🎧 LISTEN NOW ON ANDROID DEVICE 🎧 LISTEN NOW ON ANY DEVICE   Much love and blessings

Mickey

 
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Achieving success doesn’t have to be difficult!

www.mickeyroothman.com

I’m going to begin this blog with a bold statement. The truth is that having the life you want and success doesn’t’ have to be difficult and it doesn’t have to be a struggle. It doesn’t have to take blood, sweat and tears to achieve.

Having the happiness, love, joy, success, wealth and amazing life that you want doesn’t have to be difficult! You can achieve it all with total joy and ease! And even if you think this is a bit “far fetched” or crazy I know you’ll continue reading, because something inside of you just triggered you and recognized this as a truth that resonates on a deep level with your soul. Perhaps you’re thinking “well maybe that’s true for you, but it isn’t for me. It isn’t what I’m experiencing in my life. You don’t know my story. You don’t know my circumstances”. I want to tell you today that you’re not alone. We all have the belief that struggle, stress, strife and hustle is the only way to achieve and have the things we desire. I did too for many years and I’m still in the process daily of changing that deep-rooted core belief that’s been projected onto us by the world from a very young age.

Struggling has become our safe haven, our comfort zone – We’re addicted to it.

Fear and struggle feels like a very natural way for us to control things and stay “safe”. So much so that its become natural for us to be in a state of fear rather than in a state of peace, joy and trust. And its not like we’re all these neurotic nervous wrecks all of the time who are constantly in fear, so is it really such a bad thing then? One of my favorite mentors and teachers, Marianne Williamson says in her book A Return To Love that the opposite of love is not hate but fear. And if you think about it, its actually very true. Fear can take on a variety of forms in our day to day lives. It masks itself behind feelings like judgement, anxiety, defensiveness, worry and jealousy. Our instinct and impulse to try and control everything has fear at the root of it all. We learn to rely on fear as a driving force and to help us feel like we are “in control” of our lives. But here’s the thing …When you rely on fear you are out of alignment with the natural state of your soul and disconnected from the flow, love and support from your Higher Power. Fear is actually blocking you from having the things that you desire and want to attract into your life.

You have faith, but do you really believe you are supported and things can be easy?

The world we live in projects onto us and has us convinced that we need to earn the worthiness of having or achieving something and that it requires struggle, sacrifice and working your ass off for it. Perhaps even from childhood it has been imprinted into your mind that nothing comes easy or for free and if you want something you’re going to have to work hard for it. And its not because the people who brought us up were bad people either. They were just teaching us what they were taught and what’s been passed down from generation to generation. We’ve been taught that pain is a necessary part of life and the process and that to succeed requires a level of suffering. We’re taught that we have to make things happen, and that nothing good ever comes easily or without struggle. Now I’m not making light of or saying that we won’t or don’t experience very difficult circumstances at times on our journeys, I myself have been through tons of them. But, I eventually got fed up with the struggle. Fed up with the strife, the pain, the difficulty, the fear, the anxiety and of feeling like I’ve got to try and “fix” or make things happen myself in order to have a better life. I got so fed up in fact that I went in search of the answers to experiencing and creating the life I wanted from a place of joy, ease, inner peace, certainty and freedom. Today, when difficult experiences come, I’ve learned to consciously choose to see them as divine universal assignment. As learning, growing, healing and evolving experiences, rather than as shameful, dark and scary. Every difficult situation in my life no matter how hard it appeared at the time, has given me the gift of tremendous healing, growth and inner peace on the other side of it once I consciously chose to change my perspective on these kinds of experiences. Choosing to see my difficult experiences with compassion, love and grace and as divine assignments that were here to serve me to grow, heal and learn, has helped me to transform my story of victim into an empowering journey of a victor and I can now honor and love myself for being willing to see it differently and for being open to growing and evolving through them. Each time I choose to see a difficult experience from the perspective of love and trust instead of fear, I go through those experiences with joy and peace. And each time without fail Divine guidance and solutions miraculously show up! Lets be perfectly clear though … I’m not saying we have to suffer and go through difficult times in order to heal, grow and evolve or reach our goal of having the kind of life that we want.  I’m saying that when you’re going through an experience that you perceive as difficult, you can choose to see and experience it from a place of fear, or from a place of love as an opportunity that is here to serve you for your highest possible good. Even if you don’t know what exactly that is at the time. That’s where faith and trust in a Higher Power that loves you and knows what is for your highest good and who promises that He makes all things work together for your good comes in. We can’t always choose or change the things that happen in our lives, but we can change the way we choose to perceive and experience them.

Struggle is not required to create the kind of life you want.

www.mickeyroothman.comIf you believe that it has to be difficult and that you have to struggle to have the life that you want, I want to assure you today from experience that you don’t have to struggle to be happy, successful or whatever it is you desire. I’ve seen proof of it over and over again in my own life and in the lives of many of my clients once they lay down and let go of this belief that has been projected onto us by society. I want you to choose today, right here right now, to let go of that idea and that belief. I want you to choose today to believe that you can create and have the life that you want with total ease and joy!

Your belief in struggle is what’s holding you back.

Almost all of us have allowed the world and ourselves to convince us that in order to reach success, it has to be difficult, a struggle and a hustle. We’re even told by many gurus that these are some of the keys to success and that suffering and sacrifice is a part of the package and the journey to achieving it. And because that is our “story” and our “belief”, we have to continue creating it in our reality because the mind will always create more proof of what we already believe. So this belief is actually what is holding us back from achieving success and definitely from doing so with joy and with ease – because “it has to be a struggle”, right?

Want proof? Here’s the geeky science side of this.

–> Our beliefs are what’s driving everything that we “see” <– and how we perceive it in our reality. Our mind is responsible for interpreting the picture that our eyes see and it always completes that picture based on what we believe. Whatever the mind is thinking causes us to feel a certain way. Our feelings are energy and so is everything else in this universe. And likeness attracts likeness, so therefor we attract the same energy to us as the energy of what we are feeling. Can you see then how if your belief is that life has to be a struggle your mind will interpret all things you see as a struggle? This then leads to fear based thoughts which in turn leads to feelings of fear, lack, not-good-enoughness, etc and … PESTO!… that’s exactly what you attract to yourself then. More fear, lack and not-good-enoughness experiences and things. The energetic frequency that we vibrate at (our thoughts which become our feelings) either brings us closer to the love and support that is available to us all in this universe, or it resists and repels it. When we have fear-based, low-vibe beliefs we have those kinds of thought on repeat and that creates an energetic momentum that will manifest more of that into your life. It becomes a viscous cycle. If you believe it has to be a struggle and difficult, you will experience struggle and difficulty ALL OF THE TIME!

Success really is an inside job!

My old story of  “I have to struggle to survive” started in the womb already and perpetuated on a sub-conscious level throughout my life and manifested in my businesses, relationships, finances and all areas of my life as a grown up. Because I believed I had to struggle to survive, I hustled so hard when I started my first business to the point where my body literally couldn’t keep up anymore. And guess what … I worked my ass off to always just barely survive financially instead of thriving. It had to be that way because that was my belief. My success story only changed once I changed that old story and belief. Sustainable success is only 20% of what you do (the actions you take) and a whopping 80% what you believe and think. Yes, you will have to do the work and take action, but if your beliefs are limiting and not in alignment with your goals, success is not sustainable and at remains completely out of reach. As a born strategist I use to be all about the 20%, but it wasn’t’ until I focused on the 80% that my success story transformed for good.

SO HOW DO YOU GET WHAT YOU WANT WITH JOY & EASE?

The moment I consciously decided to finally release and let go of that belief that I had to struggle to be successful and survive, and instead to believe that I deserve happiness, success, joy, inner peace and to be alive, my life transformed massively!  I began to experience the love, support, guidance and connection to my Higher Power that I could co-create my life with from a space of total flow, ease and joy! Amazing opportunities and people started flowing into my life at the exact right times from seemingly out of nowhere and I began to create a life and business that was beyond what I ever could have imagined was possible for me – especially without any difficulty or struggle! I’m not lucky. I’m not privileged in any way. I am no different than, better than or worse than anyone else. And neither are you. You can have it too. We are all created exactly the same. We all have the same capabilities and support and we are all under the same scientific, spiritual and universal laws while we’re existing in this universe. What one of us achieves is merely a reflection to another of what is possible for them as well. success

DO THIS IF YOU’RE READY TO CREATE SUCCESS WITH JOY & EASE!

If you’re ready to finally let go of the struggle, the hustle, the difficulty, the fear and all of those things that you were taught to believe are part of the package to having the kind of life you desire to live, then here’s what I want you to do for yourself today. Decide today to let go of your old story and belief that you have to struggle to get what you want and to be happy, fulfilled and at peace. Say this out-loud to yourself: “I release my old story and belief that having the life I want has to be difficult and a struggle. I declare and choose to create the life I desire with joy and with ease.” Write the following affirmation down and put it up everywhere in your house. Say it every day. Put it as an hourly reminder for yourself on your phone:  “I do not need to suffer and struggle to have the life that I want. I get to create the life I desire with total joy and ease!” A high-vibe affirmation of love, joy and freedom will begin to cultivate a new energy within you and around you and that is what ultimately allows you to attract those things that you desire into your life. And if you find yourself going back into fear, struggle and trying to control it all again, gently guide yourself back to this truth with compassion and just choose again. Take a few moments now to feel into and reflect on how free, supported and light you feel after releasing that old belief and story. NB: Have compassion for yourself through this process. Remember we all did the best we could with what we knew at any given moment of our lives. And now that you know this you can choose again. You can choose freedom, joy and ease over suffering and struggle. Post in the comments below if you’ve just released and done this. If you’d like to you can also share how you feel right now after having released this and making a conscious decision to create your life from a place of joy and ease. I would love to support you and honor you for choosing to consciously change this old story and belief and to be free from it for good.

Make feeling good your #1 priority from this moment on!

Now that you understand that you’re attracting the success, happiness and joy you want and desire into your life through consciously choosing new beliefs, thoughts and feeling good, make feeling good your new #1 priority! Consciously choose to embody the energetic vibration of the things you desire and you will experience yourself become a magnet for things, people and experiences that are a vibrational match for that energy! My hope is that this blog has served you.

Ready to dive deeper into creating a life you love?

Dive deeper into your spiritual practice and learn to relax into a greater sense of ease, freedom, clarity and purpose! Check out my Ultimate Life Transformation Program. This is my signature life transformation program. –> Use the Promo Code AUG to get a whopping 85% off on this digital program! (Valid until end of August only) <– This practical & powerful 12 week digital course will help you to discover & clear the blocks that are holding you back, deepen your understanding of and connection to your true self and your Higher Power to begin the journey of consciously co-creating the kind of life you desire to live. –> Click Here to check it out! <– READ MORE OF MY BLOGS HERE Mickey Roothman    
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[A POWERFUL PRAYER] When you struggle to let go & let God

Powerful Prayer “Let go and let God” is sometimes much easier said than done. As a strategist by profession and by nature trusting, letting go and relinquishing control was probably one of the hardest things for me to learn on my Spiritual awakening and enlightenment journey. And its something I come across almost daily in my coaching practice with my clients and still face at times in my own life as well. Even when I consciously make the decision to release the things I need help with to my Higher Power, detach from the how and the outcome and just trust, I still find myself in fear, anxiety and stress over it at times. Especially if nothing has happened or changed within the amount of time I wanted it to as yet, I find myself in fear, stress or anxiety over it or even back to trying to control and manipulate the outcome I desire regarding that thing yet again. This can be very frustrating because it happens so subtly and sub-consciously that I usually don’t even realize it until I’m knee deep back in the fear, anxiety, stress and trying to control it again. Here’s the thing, this is very normal, especially when we can recognize that old patterns don’t just change over night and that we are still learning to fully trust and fully let go. Our logical, reasoning ego mind doesn’t like this at all and wants to protect us from disappointment, so it tells us that we have to be in fear or actively trying to change or control that situation to prevent being disappointed and it is masked as that these thoughts are really just trying to protect us. Unlearning our default way of thinking that we need to do and control everything or it won’t happen and silencing our ego mind is a process. The more we practice surrender to our Higher Power, the easier and more comfortable it will get. And the more comfortable we get with doing so, the more divine solutions and shifts of those things that we surrender and release to our Higher Power will start showing up in our reality! One of the biggest mistakes we make when we find ourselves back in fear, stress, anxiety and trying to control & manipulate the outcome we want yet again, is to judge ourselves or get frustrated and angry with ourselves for doing so and not being able to just let go and trust. But here’s the thing. When we get frustrated, angry and judgmental with ourselves for it, this brings even more resistance to the change that we desire. So its important for us to have compassion with ourselves, knowing that we are learning, growing and evolving daily to release our old patterns, and that it is okay if we don’t get it 100% right at first. I have a powerful prayer that I say immediately each time that I find myself back in any negative thought patterns and feelings or trying to control or manipulate the outcome of something that I’ve released to my Higher Power to sort out and bring the divine solution to. This powerful prayer will help you to fully surrender, trust & detach from the outcome and the “how” every single time. If you find yourself back in negative thoughts and emotions or controlling and manipulating that thing again, you can simply stop and choose again by putting your hand over your heart and saying this prayer: (You can customize it as you see fit for your particular situation)
I recognize and acknowledge that I am feeling anxious & fearful and am trying to control the outcome of this situation (insert your situation or circumstance here) again. I am grateful that I have been made aware of this. I know that this fear is just trying to protect me and I am thankful for that. I am thankful for how it has served me in the past, but I no longer need it to protect me. It is safe for me to release this situation to God and the universe and to trust God & the universe to bring the divine solution and outcome for the highest good of all involved, including me.  It is safe for me to be massively healthy, successful, wealthy, happy, loved (insert anything else you want here) and for my story about these areas of my life to change. I am willing to see and experience this differently. I release all resistance, fear, anxiety and control over this situation back to God & the universe. I step back and let God & the universe take care of this and I trust that it is being taken care of. And so it is.
Each time that you stop and choose again without judgement or frustration toward yourself, it gets easier every time to release & trust and for miraculous answers to these things to start showing up in your reality! So save this prayer somewhere where you have quick and easy access to it at all times. Ready to join hundreds of others who have jumped on the journey of spiritual awakening, enlightenment and miraculous life transformation?  Check out my signature life transformation program here now. PS: If this blog resonated with you please share the love and guidance by sharing it now with others as well.
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[BLOG]: Dear Empath – You must learn to Observe not Absorb.

Whether you suspect you may be an Empath or you already know that you are one, you may resonate with the video below.

  Empaths are souls who are called to fulfill the role of transforming the fears, hurts and wounds of this world. Being an Empath is not something that you learn or decide. Its a part of your soul’s assignment while you are here. The video above illustrates what the life of an Empath is like. What it doesn’t show however is that Empaths don’t just feel and play a role in taking away the hurts, pains & fears of others only when they are physically with them, but they also feel the hurts, pains, fears and every other energy of others even through browsing social media, when talking to someone on the phone and even at times when they are just sitting at home alone minding their own business. Empaths are also at times the “victims” of other people’s projections whether the person is close to the Empath or a complete stranger. Energetically and spiritually, other souls can recognize an Empathic soul and because of their desperate need and desire to heal and grow at a soul level within themselves (which is usually something that they are not even consciously aware of), they tend to subconsciously project their hurts, fears and pains onto an Empath when they encounter one because their soul recognizes this Empathic soul as one that can help them to heal their subconscious wounds, fears and hurts. Although their projections are really just their soul’s cry for help and healing, the unconscious and unaware Empath who is still on a journey to learning who they are and what their gift is for, is usually left feeling hurt, unworthy, alone and sad. Empaths are very gentle and loving souls and the unconscious Empath is usually deeply hurt and fractured by these kinds of projections from others because their core desire at a soul level is really to heal and to love all souls and they see the essence and highest potential of all souls.

“Before I discovered that I was an Empath and learned exactly what the purpose of this gift is, I loathed being one.”

I use to believe that my purpose was to be everyone else’s hospital and to help them miraculously heal and recover and then watch them ride off happily into the sunset once they do. I use to say that I am like a train station. They pull in, refuel and off they go again. I believed my purpose was to help everyone else to be healed, happy & successful and never experience that kind of healing, happiness and success myself. As I am writing this I’m thinking, “No wonder I use to be in such conflict about being the kind of person who has the soul desire to help others, but at the same time also really hating who I was because I actually really just wished I was able to hate people since all they do is just end up hurting you because of their own fractured experiences and wounds and abandoning you once they’ve healed.” You see, part of the Empath’s journey here on earth is to discover that they are an Empath and then to learn through contrast how their gift is NOT meant to be used,  in order to learn exactly how to use this gift for what it was intended which is to serve all souls, including their own. The Empath who is perhaps still on a journey to discovering that they are one, or the Empath that is not living consciously, tends to absorb the energies, feelings & emotional hurts, wounds, pains and fears of others. But this gift of being able to feel and heal these things in others was never intended for the Empath to absorb these, but rather to observe them. The Empath’s role here is not to take these pains, fears and hurts of others away and onto themselves, but rather to become consciously aware of it and observe it. Why?  Because we are all connected in consciousness. Our souls know this even if our logical reasoning minds and our bodies don’t. Whatever we heal within ourselves we also heal in the world as a collective. So the Empath is merely made consciously aware of the other’s wounds, hurts, pains and fears to assist them in getting onto their own journey of becoming consciously aware, awakened and enlightened so that they can heal their wounds, pains and fears for themselves. Every experience and human interaction on our journey here on earth is always for the highest good for ALL souls involved to transpire through it. If you just as an Empath just absorb, and they heal, it only serves the highest good of one and not all involved. It took me many years to understand and embrace that I am an Empath. And another decade to understand why this is a gift and how it is intended to be used to serve the world and me on my own journey as well. If you have a suspicion that you may be an Empath, or you already know you that you are one, but you’re kinda hating being one at the moment, I hope this helps you on your journey. REMEMBER TO:  Observe not absorb! Write that down and put it up everywhere you can so that you are reminded of this several times a day. What helped me was to put it on my phone as an hourly reminder for myself. And the notification would usually come up during my day at a time where I needed to remember it the most! And if you know an Empath, give them some extra love and care. They tend to put everyone else’s needs, healing, happiness and love above their own, even if they’re going through their own stuff too 🙂 Now go out there and OBSERVE & HEAL! You were called and created as a lightworker and healer of this world and it is such a gift once you embrace it and  learn to observe and not absorb.
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