Why We Need Contrast To Be, Do & Have Better In Life

Why we need contrast and nothing is difficult or wrong

If you’re ready to be, do & have better in life but it feels like you’re experiencing the opposite of what you want right now or don’t understand the contrast we sometimes face, then keep reading.

  Its 06:00 on a beautiful Autumn morning.   I look outside the window in awe of the majestic sunrise over a clear sky, birds merrily chirping to greet another day.   My eyes catch a glimpse of my pooches still fast asleep next to me and my heart and face light up with love and gratitude for these two little fur balls.   “How blissful they look” I think.  “Just the perfect picture and epitome of unconditional Love and just being.”   “Yeah its probably because every day is a good day for them. They don’t experience ups, downs and stresses of life like we do as humans” my ego mind chimes in with the conversation.   But very quickly my consciousness interrupts the egoic thoughts asking: “Why can’t every day just be great? Why do we have amazing days and then not so amazing days? I mean life would just be great if we never had to do anything we don’t enjoy or have those harder conversations in life, wouldn’t it? Would it, really?”   My mind began to wonder, searching for the answers to these loaded questions I just posed to it.   It began to take me back to memories of days that were just all rainbows, glitter, unicorns and feel good warm and fuzzy stuff and experiences.   Then it took me back to a few memories of days that I’d rather forget where it felt like my heart was bleeding to death and I thought I’d never survive.   “No wonder most people prefer to avoid, run from and bury the more difficult experiences and emotions rather than to face them” my ego tries to interrupt the conversation again.   And then it suddenly hit me!   We live in a universe full of contrast!
  • Day and night.
  • Summer and Winter.
  • Male and female.
  • Light and dark.
  But why does contrast even exist? I mean wouldn’t it just be easier and a heck of a lot more amazing if everything was always constant, the way we like it and just all moonshine and roses all of the time?   Truth is no it wouldn’t be. Aside from the fact that we’d actually get totally bored with life (I mean just imagine sitting through a movie where everything is just perfect the whole way through with no suspense, no plot, no unfolding, no twists and turns), the contrast actually is intended to serve our highest good. That is the core purpose of its existence.  

We actually need it.

Without the contrast we could never grow, expand and evolve into the highest version of ourselves and what our soul’s pursuit and purpose on this earth really is.   Do I prefer the great days? HECK YES! I’m sure most of us do. But if we didn’t have the “not so great ones” then how would we even know what the good ones feel like?   If darkness didn’t exist, there would have been no such thing as or even a need for light.   The fact that Thomas Edison even thought of inventing the light bulb was because darkness existed which created a need for it, right?   Without contrast we would really all just be robots existing with no purpose, no desires, no experiences, no evolution and frankly no emotions or a need for them.   There would be no innovation or technology either.   Think about it for a second. The reason you know what happiness feels like is because you’ve experienced sadness. The reason you know how you like your coffee is because you’ve experienced more than one brand, more than one way of drinking it, right?   Our need for things to be done simpler, better, faster and different has also driven innovation and technology as we know it today and it is all birthed through a desire and a need for things to be different which we wouldn’t have had if we didn’t experience the opposite of it first.   Without the one, the other simply cannot and would not exist.   Sure, we would all rather have perfect relationships and never have to have the hard conversations. We would all rather experience happiness than sadness, ease rather than difficulty. But it is really our labeling and judgement of things (our perception of them) that makes them appear good or bad to us.   We label and judge things as good or bad, easy or difficult, how it should or shouldn’t be based on societal norms and beliefs that have been handed to us, when in fact it all is exactly as it should be.   This is exactly why it also doesn’t serve us when all of us are trying to change who we are or be or look the way society has labelled as acceptable, perfect, successful, happy, good, bad, pretty or whatever else. We need our unique differences to serve the evolution and highest good for us all and of this planet that we call home for now too.  

What if I told you that it is your desire to evolve that drew the opposite into your experience in the first place?

    Think about it for a second. By experiencing the opposite of what you want you identify and learn what it is you do want. That’s GROWTH. That’s EXPANSION. That’s EVOLUTION!   And its never ending too. The type of partner you’re attracted to has vastly changed over the years as you experienced and refined what you do want in a partner by dating people who showed you what you didn’t want, right?   Life is always going to present us with contrast. How it serves us lies in how we choose to see it.   When we see it as “This shouldn’t be happening. This isn’t how things should be” we have a not so good experience.   But when we see it as “Everything is as it should be and it is always happening for me to serve my highest good” we cruise blissfully through what others may perceive as “bad days” or “bad times” with our inner peace and happiness in tact.   For me that is really what free will is.   If our story was already written before we were born, it really just comes down to how we choose to experience it. We can either experience it from a place of “God promised that all things He makes work together for my good. So this too is for my good” while waiting for the unfolding and the next chapter. Or we can experience it from a place of “God has lost control and this shouldn’t be happening and is never going to get better.”   Either way how you end up experiencing that thing will reflect how you choose to see it.   We only really have 2 choices in any experience life throws at us. To perceive and experience things through the eyes of Love, or through the eyes of fear.   And although contrast is what helps us to learn, grow, heal, evolve and expand, we can always choose to learn through love and not through difficulty or fear.  

DO THIS NEXT TIME YOU THINK YOU’RE HAVING A “NOT SO GOOD” EXPERIENCE:

When a “problem” situation pops up. Don’t panic and don’t go into those old familiar thought patterns of “Why is this happening? How am I gong to solve this? What am I going to do?”.   Instead take a moment to stop, breath deeply a couple of times, silence those thoughts and say this out loud to yourself: All is well. Everything is working out for my highest good. Out of this experience only good will come. I am safe.   Take note of firstly how much better and calmer you feel and then be expectant and on the look out for the universe to present the solution or to you or dissolve the “problem” for you, as it was always designed and intended to do.   We don’t ever really need to fix “problems”.  We only need to fix our thinking and perspective about it.   That in itself is already growth, evolution & expansion that serves your highest good and the highest good of all others involved.  

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